Painting has served as a major part of my healing journey. Art is more than what I create; it’s how I heal, how I grow, and how I find meaning in the dualities of life. The journey to becoming an artist has been as much about confronting my own shadows as it has been about mastering my craft. Each painting I create is a reflection of the healing work I’ve done within—a transformation of pain into beauty, of doubt into purpose. In the interplay of light and shadow, both on the canvas and in myself, I’ve discovered the power of art as a tool for profound self-discovery and connection.
As an artist we spend most of our time in solitude. And for many, this isolation can be deafening. I believe many of us learnt this during the covid pandemic, where we were forced into aloneness in a way we’d never experienced before. Although it was extremely difficult - my city had gone through the longest lockdown in the world, I believe the nature of my work allowed me to lean into the solitude. In fact, I used much of this time to meditate, read and research, look within, open myself spiritually in a way I had never done before.
I started full time painting in 2016, right after graduating art school. In the beginning there were times where I genuinely couldn’t be alone with my own thoughts for such long periods of time. With no distractions, I had nothing to do other than to face the parts of myself that remained suppressed, distracted. I realised that I either had to work with these shadows, hear them, heal them, or give up my dream of being an artist. And the latter was never an option. There were many aspects of my past I felt shame for, stemming right back to childhood. At my core, I never felt like I was enough, in anything I did. I held onto many self limiting belief systems that bled into areas of my life and affected my actions, choices, and ability to be the best version of myself. Back then I wasn’t in the space to make the best artwork that I was capable of producing.
From the time I left school, I went through a string of addictions, bad relationships, eating disorders, experienced abuse, took stupid risks, had a serious case of perfectionism. I called all of this in because I held onto a belief that I wasn’t valuable. That I would never be enough. That I must be unlovable. I hid a lot of it, didn’t let others see the extent to which the beliefs and thoughts that plagued me. But there was one kernel that I refused to reduce - I knew I was fucking good at making art. And I knew it was why I was put on this earth. As much as I wish my younger self could have known how valuable and loved she really was, she is the reason I am the way I am today. And how I have been able to make the art that I do.
The healing process has been a slow and drawn out journey over the span of eight years, taken it one day at a time since then. I began with yoga, meditation and journalling. As time went on I became more self aware, more observant of thoughts / beliefs / choices I made, rather than being a blind participant. I continued to ask myself, why? Until I reached the very core of the why. I made difficult choices, let go of attachments to things that didn't serve me, sacrificed a hell of a lot, and prioritised my well-being over anything. Towards the end of the pandemic, I went through my biggest spiritual breakthrough as a result of deepening my practices, as well as meeting with psychic mediums, connecting to something outside of myself that I never knew was missing. I noticed the complete shift in my art when this happened. Suddenly I found myself painting imagery that was heavenly, light, vibrant. I believe that since opening myself fully to receiving love, I have received assistance in my art. Now, each painting begins as a vision in meditation—a whisper from Source, guiding my brush toward the celestial and ethereal.
Each day I practice a series of rituals for clarity, healing, gratitude, fem energy and my connection with Source. It’s a full time job haha. But without it, the work I create now wouldn’t exist. My ever deepening relationship with Self and Spirit allows me the endurance to create a large and detailed body of work.
When you’re birthing a project, your own wounds are also birthed into it. The project serves as a reflection, highlighting the aspects of yourself that require healing and resolution. In essence, it becomes a form of medicine work. I believe my duelled experience is the reason why I am able to create such depth with my paintings, along with an “otherness”. From experiencing such dark depths to alchemising them into something of beauty.
Art has always been my motivator to heal so I could actually live out my dreams. If we don’t have our health, physical and mental, we have only a sliver of our full potential. When I’ve referenced my healing work, many people associate this as meaning something traumatic happened in past. This isn’t necessarily the case. Everyone is the way they are for a reason, from minor things in childhood, to messaging from society. We all have a responsibility, to ourselves and to others, to self reflect on our choices. We have the power to be a light to others, to bring them up or to bring them down, and that’s an effect that flows on and on.
Shadow work / healing work is about dissolving the conflicts within that arise in everyday life, so we can live up to our highest potential, inspiring others to do the same. I choose to maintain a growth mindset, each day setting the intention to become more in touch with my mind, body and soul. To grow doesn’t mean to change the fundamentals of who you are, rather it means optimising the way we show up to our lives. To be more intentional. To be more observant of our behaviours. To be more loving of ourselves in a world that is telling us each day that we’re never enough. My intention is to be so shamelessly expressive of my true, yet ephemeral, self and show up with my most authentic presence. That’s where immaculate joy lies. Being your own truth.
This is why I have tremendous respect for the shadow aspects of ourselves. Our shadow work is where we unlock the secrets to our growth. To shine a light within our deepest crevices. As soon as anything crops up in my life that feels uncomfortable or out of tune with my alignment, I explore it without hesitation. It’s then that the resolution becomes clear. It’s how I’ve approached life for years now, allowing me to live freely without any heavy energetic weight. When the shadow is left unexamined, unattended, the subconscious becomes weighed with fear, regrets and suffering. This then manifests in our lives, each time the calling to address it becoming louder and louder. No matter the external chaos, in quieting the mind we find the light.
My work is all about duality, the ability to appreciate both the light and the dark. To honour the shadows, for they are our greatest teachers. Art has shown me that healing is not a single moment but a lifelong journey—a practice of facing the shadows, embracing the light, and creating beauty from both. Each painting I make is a reflection of this process, a reminder of how far I’ve come and how much more there is to discover. Through this journey, I’ve learned that true freedom lies in authenticity, in showing up fully as myself. By honouring the duality of life—the pain and the joy, the struggle and the triumph—I continue to find purpose, connection, and infinite possibilities on the canvas and beyond.
xx
